Sometimes you ask for a snack before bedtime. I know what you’re doing, and for whatever reason, I give in, let you eat whatever I’m not too tired to throw together. Your belly has impeccable timing, you know that? It always knows exactly when I’ve retired for the night, hung up my apron of motherly duties, and just about closed up shop. At that precise moment, it alerts you to be my final customer. I bet you don’t know why I do it, do you?
I know you’re not hungry, I know you won’t eat it, whatever it may be, but somehow I’m flattered that your little belly ‘wants me to feed it’ one last time. This is an invitation no momma can refuse. To steal ten extra minutes from the day in which no one else gets you, but me?! I’m sold. And you know what? I’m really not mad when you don’t eat the bedtime snack, I just pretend to be disappointed because that’s what parents do.
I’m quite fond of the sound your little feet make when you prance down the stairs one last time. I melt at first sight of the extra twinkle in your eye when you lay on the charm and ask for the snack we both know you won’t eat. You may think you’ve won extra minutes past your bedtime, but the real winner of this little game we play is me. Only I can recount these memories no one else shares but us. The sound of your singing and giggling as I smear jelly atop warm toast and dance to a made-up jingle we’ve composed together. The shake of your rump as you incessantly demand, “Watch this Mommy, watch this!!” The way my belly flutters after you’ve nibbled your snack and whispered, “You’re the best nest, Momma.” Or a personal favorite of mine, “Hey babe, I love you.”
These moments we share remind me what living feels like. It is you who taught me how to laugh with my belly until I’m blue in the face. It is you and your rock-out moves who taught me how to dance to the rhythm of my own silent, and possibly insane, drum. And truthfully, I can’t begin to thank you enough. I just can’t tell you these things now because then you would know how much I look forward to your ‘bedtime snack plea’ and the silliness that ensues. I can’t tell you all of my secrets now, can I?!
I’ll just keep on pretending to hear that little growl in your belly as we giggle and sing in the kitchen together, dancing past your bedtime…
….because that’s what momma’s do, and oh how truly grateful I am to be yours.
Every moment is precious, and with gratitude in my heart, ‘the little things’ are no longer little — but rather monumental occasions in which my heart is wide open and ready to receive what is happening right now. Ready to receive, and ultimately softened.
Be open to everything as it is right now. This moment you are in is truly perfect.
Allow yourself to see it as such. This is where living begins.